U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize