you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
