Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
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