Three words: puerto rican gang bang
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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