so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
I miss vodka workout Fridays
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Randomize
