these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
Randomize
