I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
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