I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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