I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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