you guys were way drunker than both of me
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
