He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Randomize