I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Randomize
