wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
