I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
