Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
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