just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
Randomize
