I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
there is puke in my bra ... again
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
