We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
she woke up with a sticky ear
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Randomize
