Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
