We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
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