So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
