He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Randomize
