I heard we made out
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
