don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize
