If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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