his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
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