Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
We need to get me chipped asap
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
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