We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Well I just put wine in my tea
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Randomize
