Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
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