we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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