Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
Randomize