Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
