I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
this hospital has no fireball
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
