I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
Randomize
