I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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