Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
