Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
