is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
You are a genius and a whore.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
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