You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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