So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
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