1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize