I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
