I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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