Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Randomize
