we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
After tacos, we're chasing women.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
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