I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Randomize
