yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
