I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
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