he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
