Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
