Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
Randomize
