Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
