I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
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