At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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