I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
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