I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
