Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
Randomize
