All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Randomize
