I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
