I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
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